The flickering of light before me,
Begged me to open my eyes.
I looked beside me, and saw
My helpless little phone vibrating.
It glowed, breaking the shell
Of darkness around it.
Rather annoyed, I picked it up.
It was another group text.
I muted my phone and left it beside me.
I covered myself with a blanket,
And attempted to sleep.
But, I couldn’t.
Voices in my head told me that I shall not sleep
Voices in my head urged me to lay awake for hours
Giving up on everything, I picked my phone up.
I picked it up and went to my picture gallery.
I swiped through each and every photo,
Trying to remember what was going on.
I saw a little girl, smiling uncontrollably
For no apparent reason.
I looked at the young girl and thought about how happy she was.
She looked familiarly strange.
But I looked through the screen and saw
the little spark in her eyes and thought about
How better off she was not knowing.
Not knowing about the hardships of growing up.
Not knowing about the difficulties around her.
Not knowing about being drained on the inside.
Not knowing about giving up.
The little girl with two pig tails
that was in the picture,
Was oblivious of reality.
That little girl was brave.
That little girl was careful yet careless.
That little girl stood up to what she believed in,
Even if she was wrong.
That little girl was happy.
That little girl was the very definition of euphoria, itself.
That little girl, was, astonishingly, me.
Words could not describe, how much I miss that little girl.
What seemed like nothing then, means everything to me now.
If only I was a little more grateful and a little more aware,
I wouldn’t have to look back and repent.