O v e r w h e l m e d: A letter to Insecurities

Dear Insecurities,

I heard from the Brain, that you were leaving.

Usually I’d break down when someone leaves me,

But for the first time, I want you to leave.

I’m not sorry for the times you kept me awake,

All night, when you haunted me about tomorrow.

I’m not sorry for all those times you embarrassed me.

Not sorry for all the times you convinced me,

That I wasn’t good enough to be myself.

I heard that you were leaving forever.

I wont miss you. I wont miss you one bit.

Half my teenage years have been consumed

by the very thought of you.

I was anxious to say yes. I was frightened to say no.

But now that I think of it. I’m actually glad you tortured me.

You made me value things more.

The moments where I stood still, with my face warming up,

A little part of me was glad that you didn’t make it so easy for me.

I won’t forgive you though.

You still terrify me.

That’s why I don’t want you back.

You are not welcome in my house anymore.

No more blood will be spent on you.

Good bye.

Don’t come back.

With No Love for you,

The Heart.


Strangely Familiar.

The flickering of light before me,

Begged me to open my eyes.

I looked beside me, and saw

My helpless little phone vibrating.

It glowed, breaking the shell

Of darkness around it.

Rather annoyed, I picked it up.

It was another group text.

I muted my phone and left it beside me.

I covered myself with a blanket,

And attempted to sleep.

But, I couldn’t.

Voices in my head told me that I shall not sleep

Voices in my head urged me to lay awake for hours

Giving up on everything, I picked my phone up.

I picked it up and went to my picture gallery.

I swiped through each and every photo,

Trying to remember what was going on.

I saw a little girl, smiling uncontrollably

For no apparent reason.

I looked at the young girl and thought about how happy she was.

She looked familiarly strange.

But I looked through the screen and saw

the little spark in her eyes and thought about

How better off she was not knowing.

Not knowing about the hardships of growing up.

Not knowing about the difficulties around her.

Not knowing about being drained on the inside.

Not knowing about giving up.

The little girl with two pig tails

 that was in the picture,

Was oblivious of reality.


That little girl was brave.

That little girl was careful yet careless.

That little girl stood up to what she believed in,

Even if she was wrong.

That little girl was happy.

That little girl was the very definition of euphoria, itself.

That little girl, was, astonishingly, me.

Words could not describe, how much I miss that little girl.

What seemed like nothing then, means everything to me now.

If only I was a little more grateful and a little more aware,

I wouldn’t have to look back and repent.

Whether this was coherent or not, this piece of writing is very close to my heart. Stay Kalopsic 😀

Meaningless Words.

Walking down a row of disappointment,

I stumble into a seat of boredom

and wait for the day to proceed,

Dodging insolent souls and words.


Two truly fake hearts wonder their way

Before me and boldly speak unwisely.

The hearts that thrive off pain unknowingly,

look me in the eye and sense insecurities.

Immediate instinct kicked in.


To dig those insecurities till they enlarge

into a colossal mountain, was not their



Words slipped out of one heart’s mouth;

I sat, still and emotionless.

I was propounded by the little words that scarred me

I looked at the hearts in vain.

The heart, scared of being told off by the other heart,

Threw bogus compliments my way.


I, knowing that the words thrown at me were fake,

Was hurt, yet acted like I were grateful.

Grateful for being complimented

By two hearts that were supposedly perfect.

Grateful for the hearts attempting to raise

My apparently low self-esteem.

Grateful to be given words by two

Fake little hearts, who now meant nothing to me.


My supposed gratefulness rose a new sense

of accomplishment to the hearts.

Fake produced fake.

It was hence, a cycle.


The two little hearts pumped out

The nicest things to say

In the most fakest way, possible.

It was almost like how most people

Say things that other people would like to hear.



Here’s the truth:

‘Sticks and stones’ is complete bullshit

Compliments are lovely, but only genuine ones

Aside, people can tell if you mean it or not.

Regina George is, obviously, the perfect example. Right?

This is not anonymous shade, but a serious problem faced a lot. Thank you so much for reading my words. It’d mean the world to me if you told your friends about PERPETUAL KALOPSIA. I’ve been trying to post but school’s first.

See you soon ❤

Judge Me.

When I first found out you were reading my website, I was scared, terrified, insecure and anxious about what you would think of me. What you would think of the real me. I felt vulnerable and perplexed. What would I do if you compared my pen with the person you speak with? What would you say to me when we met next.

Then I realized. I woke up to reality and stepped out of my comfort zone. The bubble of insecurities around me popped. I walked into a new world where imperfections were perfect. Where scars are beautiful. Where flaws are respected. Who cares what you think?

I remember the reason I started this website. I started this website to pour my brain out. To share a piece of me with the rest of the world. To be myself, in the most exuberant way possible. And when I remember all of this, I realize- If I was brave enough to put myself out here for people to read, I should be ready to hear comments, to be judged and most of all not care what people think of me.

Judge me. I don’t mind. It doesn’t bother me anymore. You can say the most vicious things about me, and I still won’t care. Insecurities are something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Insecurities are things that hurt you deep down. Be yourself. I learnt a lesson and now, The self-conscious me has now become another kalopsic heart.

School has got me more emo than ever. I’ll try to post more often. Stay reading 😀

My Top 10 Words

Words are just amazing, aren’t they? You can say so much by so little. Words have always been with me, even when people weren’t. The impact words can have on you is so darn amazing. 

 Here are My Top 10 favorite words (that I came across this year):

  1. Pulchritudinous – something or someone beyond beautiful
  2. Ephemerallasting for a very short period
  3. Serendipity – Something that occurred by accident, which is somehow beneficial
  4. Plethora – A large amount of something
  5. Sonder – the realization that others have a complex and vivid life, like your own
  6. Jouska – a hypothetical conversation that you play out in your head
  7. Selcouth – Something that is rare and strange, yet amazing
  8. Bedgasm – A happy feeling experienced while climbing into bed after a long day
  9. Sanguine – Being optimistic even in a difficult situation
  10. Ardent – Enthusiastic or passionate

The Paradox of Life

A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out with a super cool friend of mine, who everyone just adores, mainly because of his optimism. We were talking and suddenly, out of nowhere, things got serious. A person, with such high spirits at all times, who makes everyone 1000x  happier by just being himself, got really deep that day, and I saw a different side of him.

“I’m a nobody”, he said.

The fact that this human, thought that he was worth nothing hit me really hard. My friend was someone everyone enjoyed talking to, and he believed that he was inefficacious. This paradox made me look at things at a different perspective.

A paradox is a contradictory statement that drives you insane. Each time a friend tell me a paradox (that they probably stole from online), a little part of me goes insane. Here are a couple of paradoxes that I personally love and hate (a paradox in itself *wink*):

  • “If you didn’t get this message, call me.”
  • “The beginning of an end”
  • “Deep down, you’re really shallow.”
  • And my favorite of all from the Harry Potter series (before the Order of Pheonix), “Obviously, more than one Time Turner existed in the magical world, so what if two people use two timers at the same time to change the past.”

Paradoxes are extremely beautiful too. Who would’ve thought that a statement as simple as “The next sentence is false. The previous sentence is true.”, could make you ponder over it so much. I recently discovered a Motivational Vlogger, who inspires me a lot. He spoke about the Paradox of Life and is probably the best 3.5 minutes I spent.

Its clear to me that we do live in a paradoxical society and changes need to be made to be more rooted with the world.

Such a beguiling thing that we’ve all failed to realize, has beautifully been brought out by Jay Shetty when he said, “Technology that brings us close to those that are far away, takes us far away from those that are actually close to us.”

My friend, who made people more euphoric, is going through “Low Grade Depression”. But the difference is that, now it’s our turn to make him feel comfortable and happy. It’s our turn to pamper him with joy and love. It’s our turn to return the favor, and I cannot be more happy to say that we’re glad to help him out.


This is my third post so far on this blog. Thank you so much for the support. Please follow, comment and email me. I’d love to hear suggestions. I hope you guys have a successful and productive week. (Kalopsia is great :D)

The Bookless Future

This was the first poem I ever wrote. I wrote this a couple of years ago and obviously, I thought every poem had to have a rhyme scheme (I was like 11, gimme a break). I’m not a huge fan of the poem, but its something the foetus me wrote, so I’m moderately proud of myself.  

She opened the door which held the future

Of the world, that she had just began to love
She shut her eyes and wished for nature
She prayed to the heavens up above.

She gently opened her eyes to discover
A little pathway, with dim light
She walked till she found her only true lover;
A small book with so much might

Her small little body was being burned by the sun,
The book in her hand was the only one,
Which still existed from the past
The book she was holding was the last.

She started to weep and then scream.
Finally she woke up from the dream.
On the floor, she found a book dead;
Left there carelessly, after being read.

She picked it up and it she hugged.
It asked her what was wrong

to which she just simply shrugged.
She would not tell her lover what was wrong,
She was to keep her dream with her for very long

Finally she regretted opening the door,
That brought her happy self a little lower.
But, she was glad that it was all over.
She had books all around her,
And the time she had, passed slower and slower.


How can this not be your happy place?


Lost in the Echoes

Watching the hills, I sat impatiently,

waiting for something extraordinary.

I watched as a bird flew right by me

and sat on a tree with not one single leaf.


It gently sang, its boring song,

And I still waited for something better to come along

Then I heard it! That amazing thing!

The echo of a song, no bird could sing.


It was so beautiful, something beyond my knowledge.

The echo came over and over,  and I was held hostage.

The echo caught me with each and every note,

better than anything humans ever wrote.


And then I found out what it was

All that time, it was a loss.

It was from that leafless tree,

The bird was the one who astonished me.

 This is a poem I wrote a couple of months ago. Writing poems isn’t my cup of tea, but I’m learning. This poem is just a lighthearted one and I felt extremely peaceful when I wrote this. I actually won second place in a writing competition for this. I hope you like it 😀